so yesterday i went to Hastings on a comic run, cause the new issue of the green lantern came out at some point (i will have to look into this cause the deadpool comic starts next month and i have been waiting since march for it), after i found the new issue i decided to look around to see what i could find. i noticed the game shelves where a bit more out of order then usual, saw chugworth academy has published a trade paperback, saw a three-in-one Rurouni Kenshin book the size of a rather large paperback ( by fuck my collection of Richard Matheson short stories is thinner then this thing was) in the wrong section, that i can now preoder halo orbital drop shock troop now ( pity i don't believe in preordering) and saw a master chief bobble head (this is note worthy cause i like bobble heads and just the other day bought the fallout 3 bobble head... yes i am a nerd). no trip to Hastings would be complete without checking out the books, specifically the new section. without realizing it i had been looking at the kid's table where i saw a prankster's handbook ( i thought nothing of it cause there is always that one guy who is still pulling pranks in his 30's around his place of employment), a manga ( wtf?!) of oricle of ages ( ok, look i know the series, i seen it before. maybe this one isn't so clear why it is odd til you look back in my posts and realize this game is fucking taunting me cause i cant get one fucking copy) then i saw it... a children's book written by idontfuckingknow and Steven Hawking... Steven motherfucking Hawking writing a children's book on his fucking field. it wasnt til today it struck me how odd this was. maybe most people dont know this but he is a theroretical damn physisist, his most popular theory, the one that made his career, he even said was fucking bullshit a decade after writing about it. look this is just another Meghan McCain issue. basically she wrote a book for kids on why her father would make the best president... the flaw? legal voting age is at least 8 years away for these kids, it is more of a gimmick then anything else which has a target of republican or really political parents who wanna pass the torch to little Timmy. basically Steven Hawking's target audience is generally other theoretical physists. but here is the thing, quantum physics is not really much of a science. science is basically what you know, where there is some proof to your claims. like how sulphur explodes in water, i drop it in and you see that shit explode, SCIENCE! but then you have quantum physics which is just basically like a fucking religion, it is that they cant figure out a reason for something happening so they make one up. their idea behind creation is nothingness just exploded and existance was created, why did it happen? fuck if they know and this is the popular idea, then you go into particals and shit and they dont know how that works. half the room argues string theory, the other some other bullshit and they cant prove any of it. one popular one lately is schrodingers cat, proving the masses have no fucking clue what it all means...
let's start from the beginning. in the 20's and beyond there was a man by the name of Niels Bohr who invented a particle connan and showed people the most fucked up thing ever. basically this thing is firing at a piece of metal with 2 slots, he aims it and instead of hitting the middle of the metal it hits the wall in the back. he's idea? that instead of passing through one slot it passed through both and that the quantium event unobserved both events happen...
(pictured here chilling with Einstien going over the ever fascinating topic of quantum physics)
now if you feel this theory makes no fucking sense then congradulations you are either sane or just might be erwin shrodinger
(quite possibly the only person who could pull off the urkel look and we only say that in pity)
now schrodinger saw bohr's idea and said "what a load of bull shit" ( the only reasonable response) then uttered the thought experiment "shrodinger's cat" to have it, damn near 80 years later, misused in a fucking meme. basically he used the thought experiment to say "it makes no sense both cases could happen at once cause then the cat is dead and alive". and since people have been making jokes like he implied that would happen. for example:
quite frankly i think he would be pissed if he was still alive at how easily it was to find that, that is the 5th google image at this time for his last name the ( 4th is an adorable cat saying it is in your quantum box... maybe. sorta furthering the point of the idea even more so)... anyway at this point bohr got angry that is theory was being critizied and backlashed. really you ever see one of those shows where everyone is siding with one of 2 people on an arguement and are making it more of a deal then it already is? like that episode of sienfield where george was parking the car and someone was trying to take his spot and the masses surrounded watching the 2 fight over it and started siding with one or the other. that was basically everyone listening to these two. well except... enter the newcomer to TNB (total non-stop bullshit): HUGH EEEEEEEEEEEEEEVVVVVVVVVEEEEEEERRRRTT!!!
(you have no idea how hard it is to find a good photo of this guy, this is like the only one...)
Everett added to the madness by sorta siding with bohr, but thinking of a new way to apply it so it seemed (arguably) less retarded. he suggested that at a quantum event a parallel universe is created with the the reaction that didnt happen here. well at this point bohr preforms what has got to be the best case of "pot calling the kettle black" in the field of quantum physics and said "your a blind retarded fool". at this point i should note that everett was a huge fan of bohr's work and bohr was sorta his hero. at the point of his hero telling him that he was completely wrong and blind for not seeing why everett died inside, he became distant with everyone, his daughter basically through his theory back in his face as she shot herself saying " i hope my parallel universe dad is better then you" (if this wasnt me having a serious moment i would have put a "[sic]" in there) and his son is mark oliver everett ( "E") of the eels ( never heard one of there songs but it sounds depressing from the wikipedia article. quite frankly him and his family are on my list of "people who had the worst lives")...
so let's review: bohr, " man of science" says if you close your eyes or just dont see it everything happens but when you look then only one possible scenario happens in a quantum event ( which seems like the belief existance is non-existant without contiousness and everything you see is in your mind and existance blinks out when you do), Shrodinger sanely shouts " BULL" and plays Bohr on his own field, Bohr gets pissed and the field of quantum physics debates, then Everett says "this does all happen but the quantum event creates a paralell universe" ( this being close to the idea every discission made creates a parrelell universe where the other discission happen)... basically the theories are just what people believe and really some are just borderline religion.
to best sum it up "the church of atom" in fall out 3 basically they worthshipped a massive megaton bomb with the belief of thousands of subatomic universes would be born with it's detenation... which sounds like everett's theory sorta. but what makes this different is simply everett saying "theory" instead of "belief" be sure to note how that works next time one of these fuckers start calling you stupid for being religious...
but look my point was science is what you can actually fucking see and explain it and have some evidence to back it up. quantum physics they see an event and toss a theory at it without trying to find proof and generally it is a person like fucking bohr who creates a stupid idea. science is observation, note taking and such, leaving little to no room for arguement. belief is religion which 95% of these men scoff at the notion of such things... to then write how a paralell universe is born from a quantum event... am i the only one seeing the irony in this?
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let's change the subject
so the i found 11 bucks under my hat meaning im currently now only 9 bucks short of the fallout trilogy pack. 1-tactics, and before you say anything, i know that is different game play form fallout 3. still expands the whole story... allows me to understand references to past games and it is an awesome series.
right now im having a " law and order: criminal intent" marathon on my roku which just reminds me of all the shows i am behind on
recommended reading: the wiki page on the
Tunguska Event, cause it sounds like a crazy man wrote the content box... that and it is just intresetingly weird when shit like that happens.
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the list of peole who had the shitty lives pt 1with the everett family mentioned already lets move to:
F. Scott Fitzgerald-
was a writer of some of the most critically acclaimed movies in the last 2 decades. in his lifetime he made roughly the equivalent of over a billion dollars. so what was bad about his life? please take note he dies in 1940. in the 30's, his wife Zelda went insane and was instatutionalized, he was desprate at this point to get his movies made but they, at this point in his career, where turned down. slowly he himself was loosing it. he began cursing the movie industry. he then died from a drinking problem he had since colledge. let me repeat that last bit: he literally drank himself to death. really the salt in the wound, the insult to injury is now, 60 years after he needed this the most a stockpile of his plays sold for a couple of million... or was it billion? eh i have no head for numbers, the point is when you watch benjamin button slowly age backwards remember: this was turned down when he was alive (also that all you need to do is type "Ben" and it is at the top of the google suggestion list)
Orville Wright
if i need to explain what he did then i gotta ask: where the fuck where you in 2nd grade history class? anyway, everyone knows his life prior to kittyhawk, but no one seems to note it
after kittyhawk. basically orville and wilbur felt they created the ultimate crowning achievement in human history and that, with this invention all wars would end. how? well because for one thing they where optomistic pasifists who absolutely hated war ( most of you are already seeing the point im about to make). basically thier optomistic view was that seeing what humanity could achieve all the fighting of people would seem insignificant in comparison to what people could do if they worked together. wilbur died in 1912, orville outlived him by 31 years ( gradually more of the crowd, specifically the ones who can do math in their head really damn quick are catching onto my point). orville got to see his invention used for the dogfight. where two planes fly in and attempt to shoot the other plane down. most famous for their skill in dogfights was the red baron who had 80 confirmed air victories (most over a small dog who thought he was Captian Athur Brown). orville then went on to say that his invention had made wars worse, and that in this light that as bad as the wars had gotten it would most likely end it ( right? right?). if you werent paying attention in 2nd grade im guessing you didnt pay attention any later on when they mentioned the second world war in 3rd grade. basically this was where they improved everything on an airplane. that had to be a wonderful sight for to orville, for five minutes then he realized "oh shit that's a war machine". for those of you who have never seen the history channel or any ads on tv for this, there is a 4 hour box set of world war 2 footage. now from the looks of the ad there is a shit load of allied forces airplane footage, a lot with shit like bombs being dropped (oh and the ad says there is a bonus dvd of 2 hours worth of footage if you order in a certian amount of time. so what like 2 hours of airplanes blowing shit up in the least between both the box set and extra dvd?). which leads to the next point, the war ended in 1945 when we dropped 2 fucking nukes from the great peace bringing invention. to put in light the destruction would give away one of the members of the list. but let's go into the death tolls. allied forces had 61,000,000 deaths ( military & civilian), axis 12,000,000. orville then was asked by a friend his thoughts on the destruction of hiroshima and Nagasaki. first off who the fuck asks that? second orville's reply was sickly optimistic, like crazy optomistic... "I once thought the aeroplane would end wars. I now wonder whether the aeroplane and the atomic bomb can do it."... i like to picture after he wrote that he read it aloud then started to laugh, then started to cry, then crawled into a corner and went into the fetal position... he died 3 years later. well you if you don't know what happened' after that it was more of a slap to the face, basically it was 2 more wars with us in them and we used the hell out of the airplane. the media felt dog fights would happen, and if memory serves they did. the movie red dawn was about russians parachuting into colorado, top gun was a movie about how dog fights occur ( that just sucked). really do i need to explain how the recent wars started and how it fits into this? oh and the military are working on a giant laser that can be fired from a plane, it isn't a secret or anything just fits here. oh and really yeah remember terminator with the fully automatic fighter planes? they actually are working on that too so if the robots take over there is something else to add. but i think over everything else orville would finally lose hope for humanity if he saw how the modern day commercial airliners run ( cause i loose mine every time I'm asked to remove my shoes). how it is a fucking waste of money, the food is a bag of shitty pretizels and i had to pay for it, i need to pay extra for any kind of luxury i could have gotten if i drove cross country, and i get the pleasure of seeing the brat behind me's socks damn near my face.
Robert Propst
this unsung genius revolutionized the modern workplace, sadly for him, for the worse. his invention? the cubical. before you damn his name his intentions where good, he wanted to help you. see his idea was the fully changeable workplace, customizable in every respect. he saw the workplace of old as a horrible abomination, where the people where tempered around the machines and soul sapping (in his own words). his ambition was to allow the employees to change their enviroment like they want it to raise productivity, he even wrote a book on it ( all good business ideas have a book, even the fucking pep talk has one). the action office, quite possible the best idea ever in the field of offices even came with a desk that could be raised or lowered. you think better standing? you could make the room for that. what would take hundreds of man hours and dollars in constuction fees took minutes since the walls could be moved. well you don't need to be Scott Adams to know what happened ( it helps though). basically his idea was used for the complete oppisite, and now we have the more soul sapping cubicle farm. he has since been cursed in every office comedy since ( im looking at you scott adams). so really his life didn't suck until some where in the 60's and it is mainly post-humorously.
Maurice Evans
*sigh* you know, i didnt want to use this picture, i honestly didnt, it gives away why he is on the list. Maurice Evans was a serious actor, he was in shakespearian plays and was on broadway. his dream: to make it on the big screen. sadly fot mister evans he had to be on the small screen first. he packed up and went to Hollywood where he found out work was hard to find and went for television ( now frankly i find television to be better source of work then movies, you can work months on a movie and get paid a high amount of money but television is a more reliabe field... well until your show ends and that can be unexpectedly, but the same goes for any medium). he was on bewitched and batman ( which you know those where pretty damn good shows...). really in 1968 he played the role he is possibly famous for, Doctor Zaius. the asshole orangutan in planet of the apes who spent half the movie hunting the heroes down. after that he starred in rosemary's baby but you dont hear much about that, nor how he spent most of the 50's in television shakespeare plays. no he is simply doctor zaius. now let's sing
doctor zaius...
Philo Farnsworth
Philo Farnsworth invented the television... by fuck the man was a genius, he thought up the idea at 14 ( that being 1920) while working in a fucking potatoe patch. the man was ahead of his time, with the same optomistic goals as orville ( already you see an issue). his goal? to invent a device that allowed the thoughts of many to be shared, a device that allowed nations to come together in understanding of cultural differences (the picture is getting stronger), that racism would be a thing of the past ( stronger...), it would be educational (almost...), of course it would have entertainment but only the best ( lord it is nearly coming in clear, just a little to the left), and this would bring us all together instead of blow us apart ( YES WE HAVE ALL 180 CHANNELS!). IT NEVER FUCKING HAPPENED! oh lord i feel so sorry. i mean lord people still today bitch about how television is pointless dribble for the weak minded and a commercial hell hole. farnsworth lived til the fucking 1971 and got to hear what he hoped would be the greatest invention ever called a vaste wasteland by the chairman of the fucking FCC in 1961. dear lord at that point he was just crushed, and really why not? he saw the whole thing go exactly the oppisite of what he wanted. i mean lord television today is still purely entertainment with like only 10 channels that can even count as educational, and this was back when there where 3 channels. when if the president wanted to say "hello country" everyone was forced to listen to it while shouting "THE PRESIDENT IS ON EVERY CHANNEL!" ( to quote my mom). let's face it the television box brought us coverage of vietnam, the first televised war which ended with people booing the return of those who where just shot at... really i guess he succeeded sorta on the whole war thing by showing us how bad we could get but still it brought us to war agienst ourselves. it also brought contraversy when cigrettes where advertised and gave us those assholes at truth who cant let anyone make their own damn descision ( hey, if they wanna smoke they know the dangers, let them. a man in a fucking rat suit or cartoon babies does nothing to stop them and i feel the ads are stupid). we had local broadcasting with our humourous vampira or who ever but that was killed when the major broadcasting stations kicked in, now we dont have our friend in the darkness, killed to give use additional hours of fucking advertisement. racism is still out there, you might not know it but it is there... if we watch long enough we can see a whole culture dragged through the mud ( bortat for one, there is really a Kazakhstan.), sometimes by the unbias, never closing eye of the news. on that note let's talk the news, of all things back when we still where on the radios i dont believe we had a situation where a news anchor talked so much that you couldnt hear the other persons arguement, cable news the worst, for instance the nancy grace who loves the sound of her own voice and telling everyone they are wrong and she is right oh and how they are horrible and she is perfect... bill orielly is the same way (and together they are like the same damn polarity, you know if we could get a colloseum we could sell tickets to them fighting to the death)... so where was i? oh right, well he cursed inventing the television and from there told his kids that they where never allowed to own one. he lived long enough to see a man on the moon, live on television, having 500,000,000 watch through his little picture box. but i doubt he watched tv, let alone MTV. agian, like most of the others the slap to the face comes post humourously with modern inconvience. i pretty much listed everything except with all those channels we still have little to nothing to watch, the same mindless dribble gets rehashed (see: survivor, big brother, the real world, and more) and most times shows just have piss poor writing.
Alfred Nobel
how did his life suck? he invented fucking dynomite. ok i should point this out, he thought up the idea behind dynomite. basically stablizing nitroglycerin with clay. this was to help miners, if memory serves he lost a brother to the unstable compound. from their he dived more into explosives making gun cotton and a substance more explosive then dynomite. he got to see how he would be remembered for what he did to help. be called " The merchant of death". in an odd twist his brother died and they thought it was him, they published an article on him saying " Dr. Alfred Nobel, who became rich by finding ways to kill more people faster than ever before, died yesterday". this is adding insult to injury prior to death. seeing how he would remembered he put all his money into leaving a good legacy with the noble peace prize. the problem is that now the prize winners generally like to then meddle even in fields outside their own and dont play well with the other prize winners... oh and that there is a lot of them.
Tsutomu Yamaguchi
never heard of him? that's because he isnt that famous. his claim to fame is why he is on the list, i made reference to this up at the top with orville. you see that hearing aid? that is from his eardrums exploding in hiroshima when the "little boy" was dropped. why was he there? on business. the worst he probably expected was dealing with an asshole, not seeing a whole city fucking leveled. that scene alone is disturbing enough to cause psychological damage, purely from shouting "WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED?!" while realizing you cant hear yourself yelling. he then went home, possible still replaying it in his head. where did he live? Nagasaki. oh you better fucking believe it, he saw the "fat man" go off too. and you know he had to be thinking "fuck not agian..." soon as that thing started whistling ( or what ever the fuck they do) while a man in a cowboy costume rode it down until it blew up. think about this for a second, what the fuck are the odds of that? he was at both. no one else was... and he survived both... but the odds of being at both is just fucking rediculous...
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well i will wrap it up here
-Jared
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